Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Memory. Passion alone.
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Mourn. Guilt. Loneliness.
[00:00:04] Speaker A: Regret.
[00:00:05] Speaker B: Peace. Relationships unfamiliar.
[00:00:08] Speaker A: If you put God first, you'll never be last.
[00:00:11] Speaker C: This is grief at the cookout, hosted by DiCarlo Raspberry.
Hello, family, and welcome to grief at the cookout. Today's episode is a very special one. I am joined by Jamie Smith, affectionately called Gunsmoke. Jamie is a Howard County, Maryland native and graduate of Wild Lake and Cosmetology School. A licensed cosmetologist, platform artist, educator, public speaker and entrepreneur for over 30 years. A community activist, prevention advocate, death doula, caregiver, Reiki specialist, mother and wife. Sums up just a little of who Jamie is. Join us for this heartfelt tribute for the queen herself, Miss Angela Jones, honoring her life, legacy, style and impact on our lives.
[00:01:16] Speaker B: All right, well, hello, Jamie. How are you?
[00:01:19] Speaker A: Hello. I'm doing great.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: Good. Welcome to grief at the cookout, you all, we have Jamie Smith here. I was connected to her by someone that you all know from season one, James Toller, my real good friend. And we're here today honoring someone very special, near and dear to us, but in true grief at the cookout, fashion. Jamie, I always ask my guests this one important question, and that is what is your favorite cookout food?
[00:01:52] Speaker A: Well, I'm the known cook in my family, so I love everything. But I would say the deviled eggs, everybody. We go for the deviled eggs. Deviled eggs. It's easy. Finger food.
Definitely the deviled eggs set the tone.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: Now, do you do like any shrimp on top or anything like that? Or is it just the straight traditional.
[00:02:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: With a little paprika on top, right.
[00:02:17] Speaker A: Just a little bit. Yes. Low relish.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: All right. I love know I used to always talk to Miss Jones about food.
[00:02:27] Speaker A: We love food and restaurants.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: Restaurants.
Restaurants.
[00:02:32] Speaker A: Little tater salad, little hamburger, little hot. Yes, yes.
[00:02:38] Speaker B: So Jamie, tell us, and folks, this is my first time seeing Jamie and we had a phone conversation and talking. So all of this is wrong.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:02:49] Speaker B: But tell us a little bit about your relationship with, I always am going to call her Ms. Jones, but I know people call her Angela. But tell us a little bit about your relationship with Ms. Jones.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: Well, the first time I met Ms. Jones, I was eleven and I was probably 1986 maybe. Yeah, 6th grade. And I was new to the area, to that school. And so I saw her walking in the halls and she would give me a smile, but she wasn't my teacher and I really wanted her to be my teacher, but I would just see her in the hallways and just throughout the different classrooms. She always spoke to all the kids. And I pretty much went from 6th grade to eigth grade there and then fast forward, I became a hairdresser and she came to me as a client. And the one thing that I really remember about her was her style and her hair. I love short hair. Just to have the confidence to wear short hair takes a lot. People don't understand that. But when I saw her I could tell that she didn't have to have short hair, she wanted to have short hair. And I like that about her.
Her hair was a verb and a noun. You know what I mean? Her style. Her style was just different. It stopped me in my tracks. Her confidence, should I say. And it wasn't just her hair, it was her clothes too. And since I was in that field, going into that field, it just really stuck with me. So when I saw her later in life at 21, from eleven to 21, it was just that same grace, that same energy. But now I'm an adult and I can really relate now. Back then I couldn't cut my hair at eleven, but I'm looking like I'm going to cut my hair like that. Just soon as I can. As soon as I can. I don't need hair down my back.
But I did. I noticed her beauty and her confidence. Honestly, that was the first thing I noticed in the hallway. Wow. Yeah, I miss her.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: So you also did Miss Jones hair, correct?
[00:04:59] Speaker A: Yes. When I started at 21, she made an appointment with me and then I probably did her hair for two decades. Wow.
And she was one of those twice a week people. Yes.
She'd be like, girl, do it how you want because I'll be back on Thursday. I'm like, well, it's Tuesday. But it wasn't even about always the style. She loved to get her hair shampooed. And for a black woman, water is our enemy. And I love that. For her, there's nothing like being able to rinse yourself from head to toe. It's a cleansing. So she would just say, jamie, I need you to touch my head. I need you to shampoo me or my assistant. She loves them and she loved the dryer. So it was more like a therapy to her.
And we had an agreement. And whenever she wanted to come, it was easy. I could knock it out without thought, no stress. So we had a very different type of relationship, stylist to client.
And she would say she remembered me, but like I said, I wasn't her student, but she said I was watching you and I kept up with you when you went to high school. So my salon was right next to the middle school I went to. So it was easy for her to get to me.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: And so you were by Harper's choice?
[00:06:19] Speaker A: Literally. She could walk if she wanted to. Sometimes she did with the kids.
And since I went to that school, I'll see the kids out there every day. I was part of the community, just like, you know, people recognized her. They recognized me. Some of the teachers would come over. Mr. Fisher, he would come and say, hey, I remember, you know, just certain. Yeah, not all, but there were certain ones, know. Touched my heart. And I remember.
[00:06:47] Speaker B: Going to. And you probably remember when I was going to Harper's choice, we had two Miss Jones. We had Jones that taught art. And then we had Ms. Jones that taught English. And they were both black.
Both two different styles. Two different styles. But let me tell you, Ms. Jones that taught art, she was daring in her styles, because some of the stuff she was in, I was like, you know, you're the only person that could pull that off.
[00:07:17] Speaker A: And a middle school.
[00:07:18] Speaker B: And a middle school, right? But Miss Jones, I remember, just like you, I remember seeing her in the hallway one time and living in Howard county because I went to Swansfield and I went to Harper's choice. And then I left a year early. And my family, we moved to PG.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:07:38] Speaker B: But being out there, when you did see black teachers, for me, it was something, for me that it was that representation.
At that time, Howard county, there was a plethora of all different type of races in the schools.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: Very diverse.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: But when I saw my favorite subject was English, and I said, you know what? I said, I hope I have that lady as my teacher. Like you said, she walked down the hallway, haircut short, her style. She used to wear those black dresses with the little slits up the side, the long sweater. Sweater.
And don't let it be like when the weather was good coming in, like the fall and then, like summer, would she have her toes out? She always had her toes done.
[00:08:31] Speaker A: Her nails. Her shoes.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: Her shoes.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: Her boots. Her boots in the bag.
Yes. And a pair of studs go a long way.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: A pair of studs. I mean, simple, but very.
So. My first episode for the second season, I had talked a little bit about Miss Jones. And I told you all that we were going to get a proper episode honoring her. And I said when the things that came to mind when I thought about Ms. Jones was royalty, regal, honest, caring, and straightforward. And those were things of what I experienced of her just being her student and also knowing that I was that one student that would always cut class to go and sit with Ms. Jones or say, ms. Jones, what we doing for lunch? Know, and she'll be, know, I'm going to get some food and whatever. I've just come straight to her classroom. And then when she got moved out of her classroom and she was in the trailers we love because that's where we could go and cut up real bad.
[00:09:37] Speaker A: She lets you be human. She lets you have a bad day.
She'll get you. She'll let you come down to her, get in that ear, tell you to get yourself together. But she understood that children have stress too. And sometimes we need a break.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:52] Speaker A: We need a break.
[00:09:53] Speaker B: Yes. So just with what I said, what are some of the words, some of the things that you associate Ms. Jones with when you think about her?
[00:10:06] Speaker A: Yes.
Later, like I said, when she came to me as a client, I really got to know her as a mother. So that was a little different from seeing her as a teacher. Her daughter was about one and I would see her running around, but I never watched her interact and really talk to her about relationships and children and virtuous. That's what comes to my mind when I think of Miss Jones. Because she searched high and low. I don't care for the best gift, she would go to Savage Mill, Frederick. It didn't matter. Any boutique, a virtuous woman is a woman that will feed her family a certain way. It just takes a certain type of woman that is, she's selective. She was selective, honestly. And she kept that through and through. It was just really genuine. You know how some people that can turn it off and turn it on, she was always cool. And even if she was having a bad day, she would just be sleep under the dryer. And by the time she came out, she was good to go.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: And I said, ms. Jones, I know.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: Your hair is dry. You got this much hair. She said, I turned it back on. Go ahead, you can do somebody else. I mean, so many people would be out the door, she would still be under the dryer. I said, why don't you buy a dryer for home? It ain't nothing like this dryer. So it was a know atmosphere that she helped create know. So that really sticks out with me.
[00:11:25] Speaker B: She was, you know, it's so interesting that very rarely that people from different, I want to say, like walks of like for know. I knew Miss Jones as my teacher and coming of school and was still able to stay in touch with her via social media and different things like that. But it's interesting that that was my experience. And for you to have that experience of knowing her as a child, but also knowing her in your adulthood and in that area. So I say all that to say, knowing that when I found out the know, I'm here in Toronto in rehearsals and I'm scrolling on social know, just checking social media and I found out from a classmate that I posted and it broke me know. It was one of those things where. And I was like, well, I just spoke to her probably like three weeks ago.
We were messaging on Facebook and just to know that her presence was gone from this world and I really had to take my time. And I said, you know what? I'm going to need a day to really process this because this was like one of the things that I never thought that I would even experience.
But knowing what you know and finding out about her transition, how have you been able to somewhat process it? Because I know it's still a process, but how have you been able to deal with it?
[00:13:09] Speaker A: Yes, it's definitely a process.
I was just grateful to know her honestly as an adult and be able to lay my hands on her and transfer our energy. And she bought me a lot of gifts, we exchanged a lot of things. We were friends.
And a lot of times students don't get to have that relationship with their teachers. You graduate or you move on and you don't think about them anymore. But God blessed us with a union for a reason. And the first thing I wondered or I thought was, I hope she wasn't scared. I didn't want her to be scared. That's what I felt. And secondly, I knew where she would be. I knew I could find her. Some of us have spiritual gifts. When you touch people, you have to have a way of receiving and releasing, and a lot of us tend to. We heal, but we don't become whole.
We don't finish the process. So if you don't finish the process, you're never going to be able to move forward.
And the way she handled her services, she made us move forward. There was no choice. That was the way Ms. Jones was. You were getting up out of here. That's just how she was, out of her class, out of her face. Whatever's going on, if she didn't want it that way, it wasn't going to be that way. So who am I to change that? That means, Jamie, get yourself together.
Get through it. How? You have to get through it, because that's what Ms. Jones would want you to do. She wouldn't want me going outside of her and doing something totally different.
And it's written and it was written. So I say that with God and I say that with her, it was written. So the way you find comfort is doing what she said. That's what you do. And you smile and you keep going.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: You can't forget her. You can't forget Ms. Jones. There's just so many stories and just lifelong lessons. Just being a woman that I learned from her and just family things. She came to my daughter's graduation cookouts, just stuff like that. She knew my kids and baby showers. And then she shared her daughter with me. So I did her hair for probably 1015 years at a special point in her life. She was probably twelve and then ended up going to college for me. So we had that to talk about men, different things. We talked about that.
She just comes up in my mind all the time. When I see different things, I think of Ms. Jones and she laid that path very well. And I internalized know. You chew the meat and spit the know. And that's how I kind of felt with her.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: Yeah, she was very straightforward. When it was time for you to get up out that classroom. All right, y'all, it's time to go. Let's go. And interesting enough, when James has said, my homegirl knows Ms. Jones very well, used to do her hair. And I said, and he know her name was Jamie. And it comes when he connected us together. I was like, wait a minute, is this the Jamie Miss Jones used to always talk about where she would go and get her hair done.
And that's just crazy, right?
[00:16:26] Speaker A: Because our age group is very different. I was like, when did he go to middle school? Because I'm like, I'm like, from the beginning. But it's the same effect. It's the same effect, Ms. Jones, it doesn't matter what class of kids it is, adulthood, it's the same effect. I don't know anybody that had anything bad to say about doesn't. You know what I mean? It doesn't.
[00:16:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:48] Speaker A: When he said that you were a lot younger than us, I knew it didn't matter because the love is the same.
And she transferred that love to her students. And when she needed her private time, she needed her private time. But it did, it clicked. And that's what he said. He goes, she's the Jamie that Ms. Jones always talked about. And I'm like, yeah.
And I'm like, I thought that was funny.
[00:17:14] Speaker B: It's just interesting how that was like, I'm 32, I'm 32. So when I was in school, that was like early 2000, right?
[00:17:26] Speaker A: I'm 48. So we are totally two different generations.
[00:17:30] Speaker B: Like ten plus a couple of years.
[00:17:33] Speaker A: She should have been tied when you came through there.
[00:17:37] Speaker B: She was still getting them kids together.
[00:17:38] Speaker A: She didn't play about your education? She didn't play.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: No, she didn't. She didn't play. And interesting enough and knowing that English was my favorite subject, very rarely do you have your favorite subject and that the person that's teaching it becomes your favorite teacher. You know what, so she represented English? Yes, she was English. When you saw Ms. Jodes, you knew that that was English. Like, that was just English. I'm going to English class, y'all, we can't be late. Did you do your homework? How come you not? I would not do nobody's homework but hers.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: Right, because you already knew if you didn't.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: If I didn't, right. But I was also that child where they was like somebody called Angela because we having some issues with the know. Then I would get know. She was my other know when it came to school and when it came to education. And it's because of her that I really love literature. And I was thinking about just in me processing and trying to wrap my head around everything and I was sitting and, you know, this season of the podcast, everything that I want to talk about are all things and life lessons that I learned from Miss Jones. Not just being her student, but being able to cut class and go see her and coming to see her after school hours, even when my mom will come and my mom would say, okay, I'm coming to pick you up. I know who classroom in you and Ms. Jones class.
[00:19:16] Speaker A: I know you, right? She was a safe space.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: She was a safe space, safe space. And everything that we've been talking about in this season are all things that I actually learned from. I just, the way that everything is just kind of like played out for me and just this season alone, that's why this season is dedicated to her for the impact that she put and imprinted in on know. And Miss Jones was the one that introduced me to Maya Angelou and Giovanni.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:19:51] Speaker B: This is the reason why I'm able to do my and really, and really think about the literature and how they also bless my life. And I thought about the quote that Maya Angeli said that people forget what you said, people forget what you did, but people will never ever forget how you made them feel.
And she was one of those persons, she was that know. Ms. Jones was a queen that no matter what? You knew that you were going to have a good day if you came across her, came across.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: You mattered. You mattered. And a lot of times, teachers, you didn't matter or you mattered for that 15 minutes or that 30 minutes. But she opened her heart to her students and still had room for her family. And outside, everybody can't do that.
You start to, I got my own child, and I got my own nieces and nephews, but always available. Yeah.
[00:20:59] Speaker B: You felt like, you know, Ms. Jones was that person that was able to put down healthy.
[00:21:08] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Like I said, it was time to get her hair done. Them, cheer them better not come in that hair salon. Don't knock on the glass. I used to be like, I don't know what you just did, but don't come in this hair salon.
And that kind of helped me, too, when them kids come through, I had to do a Miss Jones. Like.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: There'S a balance. There's a balance.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: There's a balance.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: She had great balance energy. Her energy was just like, know.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: And it was a vibration. She didn't have to physically touch you. You knew she loved you. You could feel it. You could feel it.
[00:21:45] Speaker B: Yes. She was definitely that type of person. Know, after we moved from Howard county and moved to PG, and I think it was my sister, because my sister was also born in Howard county. And the doctors, we had doctors out there, we had eye doctors, doctors out there. So it's a process of switching doctors. So it was probably about a year or so. And my mother was like, yeah, I know you all got your dental appointment, so and so, okay, so we're heading out to Howard county. I'm excited because it's like 11:00 in the morning, and I know school is still in session. And I said, can we ride past the school? Can we go see Ms. Jones? You know what I mean? And so I was like, I'm not walking through the office because I got to go get a pass, and I got to go do this. She in the trailer. So we roll up. I saw that mercedes sitting outside. You know, I knew what Ms. Joseph's at school because I said.
And we stopped past. Actually, we ended up coming in after school, went over to her trailer, and it was a know for her to just see me and, oh, my God, Takar, what are you doing here? And then seeing my sister and my brother and my mother. And she was just coming back to that area, knowing who was there. It was like, I got to go see Ms. Jones, right?
[00:23:05] Speaker A: If you don't do anything, if I don't do anything. You got to go see Ms. Jones bump the mall.
Right.
She was your source. Yes. She was your source of Howard county. You got to have that. Once you move on, when you come back, it's something to come back to, right? Definitely.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: She taught me this big lesson about loving yourself.
[00:23:33] Speaker A: Wow. I just was going to say she was the queen of self care. She was the queen of self care. So that's all wrapped together. Self love, self care.
[00:23:40] Speaker B: I'm going to try to do this without crying because, yeah, it really didn't hit me until I became an adult.
How to love yourself for who you are.
And although being a black male and operating in the society that we operate in, I didn't know the lessons that I was learning from her.
She would just say things, listen, don't make other people priorities when you're not the priority. It'll be things like that. It'll be things like, you need to learn how to put yourself first. Your education is more important. You're. This is that. And I remember us having a long conversation when we were talking about. I was just talking about how I love to perform and how I love to do this. And she said, if that's what you love to do, then she said, you got to go on and do it. She said, that's what's going to make you happy. And she said, but in the process, don't lose yourself.
And she said, in the process, always remember to love on yourself and to love and love on your family. And that was like my first lesson on how to love myself.
And all of these things started coming flooding back of all the things that she has said to me. It's very interesting when people transition and how their spirit ministers to you and resonates with you. And it's almost as if, like, that transfer of energy is kind of shifted in the atmosphere and you feel like all of these things that were ever said to me, I remember them.
Those are the things that stuck with me. And so I can never, ever forget her. Were there any things. I know you said that there was a lot of life lessons. Was there anything that was major for you that she ever said to you?
[00:25:51] Speaker A: Definitely the self care, but pregnancy for women, that's like a big deal. And when she described what she did, it was like she had just had her daughter yesterday. She was like, jamie, you got to have your candles, your bath and body works. You make sure you take a shower before you go because you don't want to be up in there. And I'm just like, I mean, she was like one of those, don't be out there acting a fool. Don't be out there acting a know. Because we have a standard, like you said, as coming from where we come from or what we are supposed to be. She made us feel proud and just grateful to be alive and having my first daughter. She was just really there for me and really proud of me and gave me that time, because most people, they wanted me to get back, they wanted their hair done. And she said, don't worry about me. It's people in the salon that's going to take care of me. And I know she probably missed me the most, but she didn't want me to feel that stress or that guilt, or she's like, take that time with your baby, because you won't get that back. So, like I said, I always looked and admired her. Like, you still love all these other people in the world, but you still have that space for your daughter.
And that taught me just to love myself and know exactly who I am. Because if I don't, I won't be able to transfer that to other people. And so, once I was grounded, it was simple. It was just natural, it was know. And a lot of people now that I talk, know. They'll say after their parent passes away, they taught them everything except for how to live without them. Okay, well, if we know that, what are we going to do now? What are we going to do about it? What are we going to do to change that?
And Ms. Jones started that path the way she transitioned. This is how I'm going to teach you how to live without me.
It's documented, it's already written. Do what I said and you will find comfort. It's just that simple. Not a bunch of fancy words, not a bunch of scripture. Do what I said, honor your parent, and you will feel me. Yes, you will feel me. Just like you just said. When it comes to you, it means you're prepared.
And exactly when she transitioned, I could feel it. So, yes, I was saddened in the flesh, but my spirit and my soul with whole, that part of it didn't even flinch.
It was the mind and the flesh that was running. That was.
[00:28:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:28:33] Speaker A: But my soul was settled and calm, because I knew, and I knew that once Heather, and I talked to Heather, and she said to me, my mom had it all together, so please don't feel like that was just her journey that wasn't meant to be shared with everyone. And Miss Jones was a private was. And, you know, there were certain things that I thought. And she goes, no, Jamie, my mom wouldn't do that to you. You don't got to do that or.
[00:29:00] Speaker B: You don't got to do this.
[00:29:01] Speaker A: And I was grateful for that because I did want to just be still in the moment and honestly, just honor her. Honor her with my praise and just me and her. I didn't need to be around a whole lot of people, and I talked to the right people, but a lot of people reached out to me because we did have a public friendship. And I wasn't thinking that so many people would reach out to me. It was a little overwhelming, but I set boundaries, too. And I got that from her to say, look, I need a minute. I'll give back to you, but let me think about it.
But I'm glad that I decided to move forward and speak publicly about her because she deserves it. She deserves it. And for her daughter to say that she knew that I would represent her, well, right there, that let me know. I'm settled, I'm calm, I'm ready. There is no nervousness about something that is.
[00:29:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: You don't have to fake it. I'm not making anything up. We didn't really. What? We talked for two minutes. It was no prep. No, you don't need that when it comes to Miss Joan. You don't need no prep when it comes to Miss Jones. Because it is what it is. You're going to miss it if you practice too much. You're going to miss it with her.
[00:30:16] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:30:16] Speaker A: Because she knows fake and she knows phone.
[00:30:18] Speaker B: Listen, now, that's one thing.
Let me tell you something. She'll call you out in a minute.
[00:30:25] Speaker A: She knew it. So you could play that game if you wanted to. But it'll never end. It'll never end. She'll win. She'll win. That's that balance.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: She used to let those teachers.
[00:30:40] Speaker A: Let those teachers have it, right? It wasn't just the students. The adult respect, yes. Was unmatchable. You thought she was the principal.
[00:30:49] Speaker B: Listen, I told her one time, I said, you need to go on to be the principal. She said, yeah, because I'm about to go ahead and have this meeting. But I already told them. Now I'm not the one to be played with.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: And petite, tiny little feet, tiny little hands. I'm like, Ms. Jones, you run this. You run this.
I mean, I see in Nordstrom. Same look, same walk, same everything. The mall. She ran the mall. The village center. I mean, just a local icon. Definitely.
[00:31:21] Speaker B: The interesting thing about her, and, like, you said the way that she wanted people to move on. She did it in her way. And I really think that this is a page that a lot of us can take out of Ms. Jones's book on how we want things done. Also having things ready, because, you know, with black folks, let's be honest, black people don't be having their stuff together when it comes to transitionings and what we want done and how we want it to be done and all of that, we don't tend to have it together.
And I knew, knowing how everything moved and how quickly it was, I was talking to my mom and she was like, well, I said, yeah, I can't make it to the services. I'm distraught. Like, I'm having a moment. I'm in my flesh.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: I'm upset, right?
[00:32:10] Speaker B: How can I make it there? Look, what can I do? I'm like, no, this is me. Because I feel like you did so much for me. I have to at least show up. You know what I mean?
[00:32:23] Speaker A: Right.
[00:32:23] Speaker B: And my mom said. She said no. She said, if this is how it's moving, she had everything already together.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Exactly. And it's proof she wanted. Yes, it's proof. In the pudding, you will feel it. You don't need to be at a service to feel what a person has done for you.
[00:32:40] Speaker B: Right.
[00:32:40] Speaker A: I mean, to me, that's a newer way of healing. We don't have to do it that way.
[00:32:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:32:48] Speaker A: The traditional, you do it how you want, but you don't have to do it that way. Why are we calling it a celebration of life if we're not celebrating?
[00:32:55] Speaker B: That's right.
She had everything together.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: There was nothing to undo. Nothing to undo.
[00:33:04] Speaker B: But that also lets us know that, again, even in her death, she's teaching us lessons. Okay.
[00:33:11] Speaker A: Yes.
Know what, you know what, you know exactly. Why do we pray to who we pray to? Why do we do that? We're not going to believe.
[00:33:21] Speaker B: That's right.
She is even teaching us in her death how to move forward, and you're going to do it the way that you're going to do it. And she said, and I'm going to do it the way that.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: And for our generation, we're like, we respect Ms. Jones. So, of course, we're going to do know there might be some older folks still sucking their teeth and rolling their eyes and mad about. But we're good, right? Because she touched us in a way that you can't undo. Know it's there. It's inside of. So hallelujah.
[00:33:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: More power to.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: And I want to say this publicly, too. I thank Heather for her blessing. I thank Heather for us allowing to have this moment two people that don't know each other so many different ways. But we know Ms. Jones in two different aspects of our lives.
And I just thank her for sharing her with us. Like you said, ms. Jones knew how to take care of family. Like knowing. I remember when Ms. Jones's mother passed, know, I remember know even talking to her about that. But she knew how to take care of family and to take care, you know. Heather, thank you for sharing your mom.
[00:34:58] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:34:58] Speaker B: Because she was a beloved teacher and.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: She was a walking mean. When you saw her, you just knew it's okay to do this.
You're representing well when you do know. And Heather, she's always been really sweet, very peaceful. And just to be an only child, to share your mom with the world with a big life like that, that's not easy. Yes, it's not easy. Your kids can become very resentful when you are that connected to people. But what you're doing as a mother, you're teaching your daughter. She's watching me. She's watching me. I don't have to keep telling her and saying she's going to see it. I ain't got to talk it because I live it.
That was Miss Jones and that's what she wanted you to get from her. If you were going to get anything from her. Be who you are and walk in it. Not just walking in your truth. Walk in your light. Walk in your light.
There's a light and if you know it's there, other people can't help.
[00:36:00] Speaker B: But she was good of unearthing that light in you.
Unearthing that.
As we're sitting here talking, I'm just recalling being in the hallways and being in the classroom, being in her class. It wasn't just like a class, it was an experience.
The way she decorated the room and how she taught. She was there early.
[00:36:30] Speaker A: You talk about planner, the planning moment.
[00:36:34] Speaker B: Yes, she was there. She was there.
She was on time.
[00:36:41] Speaker A: Never fell short. Yes. Summertime, she would get ahead and then walk over to the school. I got to check on my room. What's going on?
She was there with the janitors.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: She opened up the school. She had the key.
[00:36:56] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:36:56] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:36:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: And you know, the interesting thing is, I even think about the times when she would have a sub. Now, we knew two things that this takes me back because thinking of how she wanted things to go just for herself, this is what I'm going to do. Okay?
[00:37:14] Speaker A: Right.
[00:37:14] Speaker B: But we knew that when Ms. Jones was out, there was a piece of paper that had what we supposed to be doing for the day. How long it's going to take. It ain't going to take no 20 minutes. It only takes them ten minutes, no five minutes to do the warm up. Then they should be moving into this. They should be moving into that. But let me tell you something. Let us have acted up.
[00:37:38] Speaker A: Watch the fool if you want to.
Act the fool if you want to.
[00:37:42] Speaker B: I remember that one time the kids cut up because, see, I was the class clown. See, I like to cut up.
Ms. Jones had to gather me a few times. Decalo, we're not going to do that. Sorry, Ms. Jones. Okay. It was one of those things where. Wrap it up, right?
[00:37:58] Speaker A: Wrap it up.
[00:37:59] Speaker B: Wrap it up.
I was a class clown. And I remember that one time those kids were showing out. This was before she moved to the trailer. They were showing out in that main hallway doing class and coming in late and everything. And so she pulls me aside early that morning. She says, so what happened in class? Because I didn't see your name written down, but I see all these people who were not in class. What's happened?
[00:38:24] Speaker A: Right.
[00:38:26] Speaker B: She commanded respect in the room, but she also wanted us to have respect for ourselves.
[00:38:32] Speaker A: Yes. You're not going to be a fool. You're not going to be a fool. Not around her.
[00:38:36] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:38:37] Speaker A: Not around her.
[00:38:38] Speaker B: That was the type of person that she was.
[00:38:40] Speaker A: Yes. And honestly, not just making me a better mother, she made me a better aunt. She was present. She was present. We were both aunts early, very active, very present. And I watched her and I saw how you can have your nieces and nephews, but you can have your child, too, and they can be close, and there's a boundary, but it's family. You know what I mean? And no matter what happens around, Angie's there. Yeah, Aunt Angie's there. And that says something. She has a niece named after her. Her mother has a grandchild named after her. So it's a line of educators. Like, this didn't just start, it's hereditary.
And to double back with Heather, I thank her definitely for letting us do this because she said, oh, my mother loved the carlo, too.
She was like, oh, that's going to be y'all too. You know what I mean? So that was good to know because it wasn't one sided. I knew I loved Miss Jones, but I knew she loved me back, especially when she first came to get her hair done. She said, jamie, I was watching you. I ain't saying none, but I was watching you. 6th, 7th, 8th grade, you was fly seeing you in Safeway.
Then when I seen you come to, I said, uh huh. I told everybody. She did. And she did. She was a walking billboard. And she said, I don't even really got to say nothing. They going to ask who did your hair? And it was just honest and just genuine. Yeah. Just very orchestrated by a higher power, not just superficial client to stylist. We were friends, and I was there doing a lot of trauma, too. And sometimes you do have to separate with that because you don't want to associate that with your closeness. People don't understand that. When you go through things like when she lost her dad and she lost her mom, and if I'm the one doing your know, it's reminders, there's things that go along with that. So we even matured in that way and we were still close. And every once in a while, she would still come and let me lay my hands on her because she was. I just need my jamie. It could be years that go know, and we would just talk and chat, but it's there. It's just something you can't. That spirit is forever. So it was almost like God was disconnecting us slowly so that it would not be so hard in the departure because I could not imagine if I was doing her hair twice a week right now.
It would be hard for me to even be in a salon right now.
And not because triggers are triggers. Yeah, we're human. We're human. The flesh is in the mind. But like I said, my spirit is rested. It's at peace.
[00:41:28] Speaker B: I feel so much more even at peace now, even talking to you, because just like I said before finding out about it, losing my brain, I called my mother. I'm a wreck.
She's like, what's going on?
[00:41:47] Speaker A: Right?
[00:41:51] Speaker B: Screaming and hollered on the phone. And she's like, oh, my goodness. She's like, wait, what are you talking about? Hold on. Did she start losing it?
[00:41:59] Speaker A: Right?
[00:42:00] Speaker B: Because she knew the impact. Even as a parent, my mom knew the impact that Jones had on my life and even as our life, because I'm going to be honest, I was not the most cooperative child.
[00:42:16] Speaker A: And that says something, because a mother could be jealous of the relationship you had Ms. Jones. And my mother loved Ms. Jones, too. She was the one that reached out to me and said, jamie, I know you still talk to Miss Angie. I think you need to reach out to her because she knew first. So that even made my heart smile, because as a mother, you could be a little jealous of a relationship that your child has with Ms. Jones. But no, she was proud of that and thankful that I knew her and that she knew her, too. So, like I said, there was room. There was room to love more than just. And especially for a know, a mother could really be like, what you crying for?
[00:42:52] Speaker B: Right?
[00:42:53] Speaker A: That was years ago.
But she knew Miss Jones. And you could be open about know, sometimes you have to hide that kind of friendship or relationship because it's not so called normal. You move on once you finish. Know, you don't keep going back. But her heart was still open and it made a difference.
[00:43:13] Speaker B: Yeah, she showed up. I remember when I came back to Swansville, I went to Swansville and I did a little concert with my music teacher, who also had a huge impact on my life, but I can stay. And I said this to my mom. I said it was two teachers that I am because of them. That's Miss Greenman, my music teacher from elementary school, which is why I perform. And I said, and that's Ms. Jones. And I said, those two teachers, those two women, a white woman and a black woman, those two women, I'm telling you, I said, it's ingrained. It's in the fabric of who I am, my personality, how I respond, how I listen, how I move. Those are life lessons.
Yes. I've learned life lessons from my mom and from my dad and from my grandparents and my aunts. I'll never forget those. But those life lessons that you learn from an educator, and being an educator myself, I remember Ms. Jones saying, she.
[00:44:18] Speaker A: Said, so how you like it in that.
[00:44:24] Speaker B: Listen. She said, yeah, because, you know, you ain't cut up in my room. But I heard about the mother classes that you.
But even being an educator and knowing.
[00:44:35] Speaker A: That.
[00:44:37] Speaker B: Children spend so much of their time with the educator in those early years, we spend most of our time with them. So either we don't like them, we don't care for them, they're okay, or they really made a huge impact. And Ms. Jones was just one of those educators. She was more than just a know.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: And you weren't even in your know, you were, like, still in middle school. So most things you learn in your adulthood or past puberty, but in that moment, you are absorbing so many different things. So for that to stick, because there's so many things that go in one.
[00:45:13] Speaker B: And write out the other.
[00:45:15] Speaker A: But not with Miss Jones.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: She was too memorable. It was like you just couldn't ignore what she said or how she said.
[00:45:23] Speaker A: It or.
[00:45:26] Speaker B: You just couldn't do that because of the type of person that she was.
She was that girl.
[00:45:34] Speaker A: Yeah, she was definitely. And even my family, I was like, I don't want to be sad, but I'm going to be going through something for a few days. I don't want you to not understand, but I don't know if y'all remember. And my husband's like, oh, I know. You mess with Ms. Jones. I don't know, you know, the name just resignates so he know because it's been years. But no, even my daughter, mom, that was your teacher I saw on social media. They know.
They know.
[00:46:01] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just one of those things.
I'm grateful I don't shed a couple of tears.
[00:46:10] Speaker A: And this has definitely been a healing experience because it's hard when you haven't talked to somebody who loved her just as much. Especially if you didn't even know them.
[00:46:19] Speaker B: Yeah, especially didn't know them. But that's what I appreciate. And even thank you, James, even for this.
I said, this is great because these are the type of things that I want to have these conversations and this is not something that was like, planned. This is not something that I pondered over. This is like, no, I need to talk to someone about this.
And to talk to someone from a different perspective that saw Ms. Jones and was able to encounter her in a different perspective is what has just been a blessing to me.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: Right?
[00:46:59] Speaker B: So I appreciate it, honestly.
Thank you, Ms. Jones.
I feel like she's right here.
[00:47:08] Speaker A: Yes, exactly. You never know what's going to get.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: You know she met us, right?
[00:47:14] Speaker A: Yes. Yes, she did. Yes, she did. She orchestrated all of this, Ms. Jones, all up in this.
[00:47:23] Speaker C: Ms. Jones, your style and confidence inspired us. You taught us the importance of self care and loving oneself. You created a safe space and instilled confidence. Your legacy lives on through the lessons you taught and the impact you had on your community.
Thank you, Jamie. Thank you, Jones family. But most importantly, thank you, Heather, for your bless, sing and sharing your mom with all of us. We continue to lift you in prayer during this difficult time.
Miss Jones, we love you.
You might join in grieving, but you're going to come out healed. I love you and thank you.
